Is not bad to have expectations but is important to align them with reality, that's the best way to achieve them within the shortest possible time.
In this article, we will see reality and expectations and how to align them to make work out as expected from the onset.
Below are 12 Reality Versus Expectations in Marriage And Relationship.
1) One of the biggest causes of heartbreak in marriage or dating relationships is expectations. The reason why your partner may hurt you is because you have expectations of how you want him or her to act in every situation so when your thoughts are not met it looks as if the person has disappointed you.
2) You might be expecting your spouse to love you in a certain way, but the reality is that your spouse may have a different understanding of what love in general. Communicating to your spouse how best you want to be treated is the best way to go which will increase the bond of intimacy.
3) You might communicate how you want to be behaved toward and expect your husband or wife to change immediately for it but the reality is that your spouse adjusting will take time so he or she can unlearn and learn. Encourage their adjusting through appreciation for the effort the person is making as a sacrifice, don't discourage it through constant objections and or by comparing them to others.
4) You may expect your spouse to satisfy you well in the bedroom each time you need it; the reality about lovemaking is that not every time you want lovemaking, your spouse will want to make love too. Try to make him or her understand you, if it produces results, good; if it doesn't find out if your spouse is offended at work, tired due busy day, stressed because of tasks handled during the day, or in need of a different form of intimacy outside what you are expecting.
5) Don't expect that your spouse and you will always agree when it comes to everything; remember that you and your partner will see some things differently based on different family upbringings before you got married to each other, things like socialization, education educational background, gender difference, and disposition contributes to this. Your spouse is not being difficult to live with, he or she is just different. Is important to learn to accommodate each other's views.
6) You may be expecting that as a married couple who are one by the rules of a happy marriage, you think your spouse will make financial determinations the way you do; but the fact is, that you both have a different relationship and dealings with money. Instead of wanting your partner to be a duplicate of you in making such a decision, incorporate each other's strengths and weaknesses which will help to make positive and profitable financial decisions.
7) You expect you guys to parent the children a particular way; but the reality is, that you will have different parenting styles. Your parenting technique doesn't imply you love your children better. You may agree on values, but how you relate with the children could vary.
8) You expect that when your hubby hurts you he or she will help you heal quickly emotionally by doing certain things; that your spouse might not help you find closure exactly as you want it, in many instances, you will have to walk with yourself towards healing from the pain your spouse may have caused you. Don't worry, God will help you as you stay together.
9) You could be expecting your spouse to know the information you know or have in mind; they are not God who sees the heart of men, and no one has the monopoly of wisdom, what might be simple logic to you, maybe a foreign idea to your hubby. Don't make him or her feel immature, with love and understanding teach your spouse what you know.
10) Let's take it that you expect your spouse to remain Godly just as you found him or her before marriage brought you guys together; that's not the reality, remember your spouse is a living being with a constant battle of the flesh and the spirit in him or her. Occasionally your spouse may indicate the human side of them and maybe even backsliding in the things of God. When that happens you may ask, instead of passing a conclusion against the person, lovingly bring your partner back to the right path with God, take note that no marriage can be happy and successful without God being involved and helping your spouse to stand up again when they backside is part of you involving God in your marriage.
11) You could expect your spouse to join you in your stand against anyone when they offend you; but that is not how it works, the way your spouse sees the person is different, your spouse has a different relationship dynamic with their friends or relatives, make your partner understand how everything is going, that will lead to peace in both sides. Don't let it become a separation between you, let the target be your bond as a couple, not the other way around.
12) You could be expecting your partner to always be romantic with you, looking delightful, reflective, well-groomed, and with a mode of communication; but the reality is life is more beautiful than you may have imagined, life will have good and bad days every day even as you did not expect, your marriage will go through various seasons and some will not make sense to you as you experience them. Not every day your hubby will be at their best he or she is a human being don't forget that we all have feelings, always show love so you can be loved.
It is good to have expectations in marriage or relationship, but learn to adjust them as you and your partner relate and grow together, understanding each other as you navigate through the journey of love.
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