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24 Ways To Handle Conflicts And Arguments In A Relationship Or marriage.

Disagreement, and conflicts are inevitable in marriage and relationships but it's important that you know how to handle it amicably whenever it occurs, with these techniques I know that you can now handle them maturely.



1. Don't expect your lover to know he or she has offended you when you didn't inform them. Stop holding your grudges inside against your partner; when you do this, you will resent your spouse thinking they doesn't care, or they will find you hostile without understanding what happened.

2. Always control your temper. A hot temper will always make you yo say or do something you will regret later in the day, but when you are slow to anger, you will always calculate your words carefully before voicing them out and this will make you to always speak in wisdom.

3. Discuss the issue privately, away from children or to the public. It's between you and your spouse and not between you and the children or someone outside your home so discuss it privately with your significant other, don't make the issue a public topic.

4. Find out all the truths, don't jump into conclusions when you have not heard the full story. Listen to your partner's side of the story or the sequence of events before passing your judgement. Check the book of Proverbs chapter 18 verse 13.

5. Do not attack your lover, try to listen to him or her first and you will discover that there is no need to fight each other.

6. Start discussing about the issue on ground with the words "You know I so much love you. I don't like it what..." or "You know how much I love you. I just noticed that..." Don't start with abusive words, start peacefully it will also make the person's anger to calm down.

7. Tackle the issue immediately before it grows into something difficult to manage. Put out the fire when it it's still small not when it has escalated to the point where you will start looking for a third-party to help you resolve it.

8. Whenever you start talking about a present issue or problem, please don't bring in a past conflict that has already been resolved because if you it fuel the current conflict to a worst stage where you will not like the results. The past has past so let it go after all was settled.

9. No matter how mad you are about what your spouse did to you or what you did to each other, ask them to pray with you. As you pray, tell God how angry you feel as your partner listens, and ask God for his peace to reign. Prayer will humble both of you and gives you the peace and guidance to resolve the matter at hand amicably.

10. Acknowledge your partner's pain and their hurts. Let him or her know that they has every right to feel angry towards you, how you hurt them, the way he or she was offended, disrespected, and ignored; depending on what happened, and you are in the wrong side. This will make the person's anger to calm down and possibly accept your apologies.

11. Be quick to apologize. Always Say sorry to your significant other. Say sorry to him or her even when is something you did right but your spouse interpreted it to be wrong against them, after you have said sorry you can explain how it happened and the reasons for your actions.

12. Be quick to forgive. How serious you are about your relationship or marriage will be seen by how quickly you forgive each other, remember nobody is perfect so forgiveness will heal emotional wounds and reunite you guys again.

13. Don't try to justify your actions if you are clearly in the wrong side of the issues. Your sorry will not seen to be a sincere one if you try to beautify your mistakes. Accept your mess and don't twist it so you will not make your sweetheart to feel more offended.

14. Don't compare your spouse with other people by giving example of what the other person has achieved that your spouse hasn't achieved for now. Don't make the one you love feel not good enough to be in your life. Appreciate his or her efforts and encourage the person where necessary.

15. Don't discourage your lover by not recognizing their efforts, and commitment for the good of the Marriage. Please be patient in as much he or she is making progress on that thing, encourage them, give advice where necessary instead of ridiculing the person or complaining against the person.

16. Don't discuss your partner's shortcomings to a third-party unless to a marriage and relationships counselor because you want the person to advise you and your spouse on how to handle their weakness. If he or she feels covered by you don't discuss their shortcomings with someone else.

17. Don't threaten your spouse with divorce or break up just to scare your him or her into action. The more the thoughts of separation is entertained, the more the likelihood of separation would occur.

18. Don't report your spouse to to his or her  parents or your parents in a way that makes it seem you are treating your spouse like a child. Bringing your both parents into the matter should be a joint agreement between the two of you.

19. Don't cut off communication. Pick up your phone whenever your spouse calls you, don't run away, and don't give silent treatment to your spouse for any reason. This is the time when a healthy communication is needed the most because without communication you can't resolve the issue.

20. Don't bang doors, spit, insult, or punish your spouse by failing to play your role as a way to show contempt or rebellion. Marriage is not for child's play. Stop acting like a kid and talk about the matter immediately.

21. Don't use lovemaking as a weapon against your spouse. Never play games with your intimacy life, don't push your partner to someone else while you are thinking that you are punishing him or her but you are already destroying your marriage.

22. Don't focus on the conflicts to the extent that both of you forget the bigger picture; which is how far you have been together in love, and in peace before the conflicts came, how many things you have conquered together as a team before the issue arises. Think about your good time and not about your bad time, this will help you to quickly resolve the issue.

23. Don't sleep in another bedroom or move out of the apartment leaving your spouse alone because of the conflicts. You guys should never get used to being apart from each other because of disagreement or conflicts that occurred in your midst.

24. Discuss the best way forward in order to avoid the same conflicts repeating itself again.

Don't allow conflicts, disagreement or misunderstanding of any kind to destroy the love you have build for years, follow the advice in this article and you will be glad you did.

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