Important Things You Should Know About Marriage And Delayed Childbirth.

This is a very sensitive and important topic and please forgive me if I touch your emotional (It's not going to be a bad experience). For the sake of the teaching please allow me to say the truth no matter how hard it may sound to your hearing.

Some years ago I came across a post on Facebook where married couple from Ikeduru Area in Imo State had their first children (a set of twins) after 17 years of marriage. I joyfully celebrated with them but I was also fast to add some advice to my comments that very day because the person that made the post said that "the husband tried by enduring his wife for the period of 17 years of no baby in their Marriage".  Today I would like to enlighten Africans on this particular marital challenge which many people are facing today.

Marriage was ordained and started by God, and not by man, not by any country, race, traditions or culture. God is the One whoestablished marriage for the good of mankind, and in order to help us enjoy it, He gave us His manual which you can refer to as Bible. Glory be to God for the powerful books written about marriage, for the great marriage counselors and coaches we have today, however, the Bible till tomorrow remains the final and highest authority book about marriage.

From day one of married, the two partners enter into a lifetime marriage covenant. This marriage covenant can only be powerless on account of death of one of the parties, or infidelity (however, infidelity according to the Bible is not a strong reason to end a marriage as spouses are expected to forgive themselves). See the book of  Saint Matthew chapter 19.

The Bible is clear on the primary reason why God instituted marriage for mankind: this reasons includes companionship (friendship). That's the primary reason and it should never be defeated in any marriage (check the book of Genesis chapter 2 verse number 18). Children, as important as they are to us, are not the primary reason why God ordained marriage. So it's very wrong to start thinking about marriage because of children first. Children are the additions in the list of benefits of marriage. (see and confirm it in the book of Genesis chapters 2, verse number 3 and  4).

However, God expects fruitfulness in our marriages, although, sometimes some couples faces challenge in that area in their marriage. 

The Bible, science and reality on ground show that Married couples could experience a delay or may never have children for the following reasons:

1. Hormonal imbalance on the part of the wife.
2. Ovarian cyst or complex ovarian cyst.

3. Fibroids or multiple fibroids.

4. Blockage of the fallopian tubes.

5. Miscarriages or repeated miscarriages.

6. Perforated or completely damaged womb.

7. Abortion or series of abortions.

8. Sterility on the side of the woman.
9. Sterility on the side of the man.

10. Low sperm count on the side of the man.
11. Infection on the side of the man.

12. Evil covenants from either of the man or woman's family against childbirth.

13. Spiritual attacks resulting from a lady who cursed the man for breaking her heart or from the family of the man because they don't like the woman he married.

14. Chronic or terminal illness (allowing that woman to have a child may cause her death or better still may quicken her death.

As you can see, a marriage may face challenge in the area of childbirth. Some couples may have to wait for some months before the woman will conceive, some may have to wait for many years unexpectedly, whereas some may never have children due to several complications bothering them.
However, should there be a challenge in the area of childbirth, no partner will ever blame the other partner for childless Marriage. Whether the challenge is with the husband or with the wife, it should be regarded as THEIR CHALLENGES. 

Any man who mocks or blames his wife for the absence of children in their marriage is ignorant, unexposed to the things of marriage, insensitive and thoughtless to his wife. Marriage is for a lifetime union, and for better and for worse situations. Therefore, it's an anti-marriage for a husband to say he ENDURED his wife during childless challenge in their marriage. But he should say, "we waited and believe in God for him to bless us with our own child" or "we waited for years before we could have our first baby ". That sounds godly and civilized to the hearing of anyone.

In many places today, it's always easy for men to quickly blame the women on childbirth delays and it's unfair and not right because nobody will go into Marriage without desiring her own children. It's no more news that some men are also the causes of childlessness in their marriage, this is because of serious STDs, low sperm counts, erectile dysfunction and sterility. I know some men who kept blaming their wives over the childlessness they are facing in their marriages but they later found out medically that they were the ones responsible for the challenge, and not their wives.

If your marriage is challenged in the aspect of childbirth, here are the proper things to do:

1. Don't suspect your partner to be cause of it.
2. Don't blame your partner for the childless Marriage.

3. Pray to God because only God can give children.

4. Seek medical attention from medical experts immediately you and your spouse noticed the problem.

5. Comply with the medical directives of your doctor.

6. Don't mount any pressure on your woman.

7. Don't allow your families to mount pressures on you and your partner.

8. Be patient because you can't give yourselves children. If you have the power you would not face the challenge of childless Marriage.

9. Be supportive towards each other with love and care.

10. Encourage each other knowing fully well that God is not sleeping over your marital challenge.

In cases of serious childbirth challenge this is what you should do:

Most times as a Christian, going by the promises of God in the Bible regarding fruitfulness, we reject some medical advice. It's okay to do so. However, we should not be selfish and unthoughtful. Some women have lost their lives because they trying to get pregnant. If after you have done all you can do and there is no positive results or it's putting the life of your wife in danger, please you may have to forget about having children biologically in your marriage. 

You may do the following:
1. Decide not to have children at all (it's not a sin against God and man. Your wife doesn't have to die because you want children).

2. Go for child adoption (you both can agree to adopt children. Many people have adopted children. It's not a bad idea).

Please let me add this: remember that divorce, remarriage or getting another woman pregnant because of children is encouraged unless if you are not faithful to your partner. Delay in childbirth is a strong test of love in a marriage and you don't have power to control it, if not it wouldn't have been a challenge. Unfortunately, many people fail it woefully. 

My sincere prayers goes to couples that are  still trusting God for children. May the good Lord in heaven above remember you. However, should that not happen, please follow the advice in this post as regards child adoption. 

Thank you 💕

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